


Mushroom Mayhem

by Brilan_Mosyn



Series: Adventures of the Fortress & the Land and Sky [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 1 orgie, A little itty bit of something resembling angst, Accidental Aphrodisiac Use, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bokuto/Oikawa, Crack, Drinking Games, Foul Language here and there, Happy Ending, I actually really tried to summary, In regards to chapter 5......, Iwaizumi/Daichi/Oikawa/Bokuto, Iwaizumi/daichi, M/M, Minor Violence, Mushrooms, Nishinoya/Akaashi, Ok it's just a haywire robot, Orgies, Quarantine inspired, Ship!AU, Starts clean goes down hill, Suga/Asahi, That shit is explicit, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24386689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brilan_Mosyn/pseuds/Brilan_Mosyn
Summary: During a dual training exercise, Hinata, Kageyama, and Oikawa bring home mushroom spores that quarantine the CSS Land and Sky and the CSS Fortress. Of course, chaos ensues.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Adventures of the Fortress & the Land and Sky [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806472
Comments: 17
Kudos: 42





	1. Middle of the Night Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> This is another fic in the same spaceship AU as the Cat and Owl's Shape-shifting Spray and Scientific Bouquet. It's going to be longer, at least 6 chapters if you count the prologue and tags may be added as I go along. Please enjoy the quarantine chaos. Also thank you to my little sister and loves_sorrow for their help. It's very much appreciated.

_ Beep.  _ The loud buzz of the intercom jars Kuroo out of a sound sleep. Next to him, Tsukki shifts, glaring at the speaker. 

“Kuroo, you’re in meeting room A.”

“How soon,” the science chief asks, rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

“Be there in 5.”

The comm cuts out, leaving Kuroo to roll out of bed and pull on his clothes. “I’ll be back, Tsukki.”

Kuroo stumbles into the meeting room. The brightly lit room is filled with people in various states of exhaustion. The only one anywhere close to awake is Bokuto, who wanders around shirtless, giving people his signature “Hey,hey,hey.”

“Bro, tone it down. It’s the middle of the night.”

“Bro!”

Bokuto bounces over. Akaashi trails after him. Looking at Akaashi, Kuroo wonders if Bokuto’s unnatural energy isn’t stolen from his poor boyfriend.

“Thank you, Kuroo-san. Bokuto-san, please be quiet.”

The owlish man droops. “Aww. Alright. Did you hear what’s going on?”

“No. Only to be here in 5.”

“Weird.”

The sleepy murmur in the room takes it up a notch when officers from the  **CSS Fortress** join them, wide awake and eyes sharp. 

“What the fuck is going on,” Bokuto whisper yells at Kuroo.

“Beats me. We should find out soon, though.”

The next time the doors to the meeting room open all noise stops, barring the click of heels made by the military member’s salutes. Captain Sawamura Daichi of the  **CSS Land and Sky** and Captain Ushijima Wakatoshi from the  **CSS Fortress** walk in, flanked by their 1st officers Sugawara Koushi and Semi Eita, respectively. 

“As you were.”

Ushijima’s low voice rumbles across the room.

“We apologize for the summons at an early hour,” Daichi says, he and Ushijima taking a place at the head of the room. 

Kuroo raises a hand, fighting back a yawn. “Why are we actually here and why is the  **Fortress** involved.”

Daichi scratches at his head. “We’ve run into a bit of a mushroom problem. During the joint training session yesterday, Hinata, Kagayama and their research partner, Oikawa, were sent to the nearest planet. There they encountered a type of mushroom. Spores were brought back and are now circulating through both ships. The Land and Sky and the Fortress will be docked together and isolated for the foreseeable future. All sections are to dedicate their resources to helping contain and remove the fungus. 

Kuroo raises his hand again. 

“Yes?”

“What exactly do these mushrooms look like?

Daichi motions to the door, which opens and lets Hinata, Kagayama, and Oikawa in. 

“This feels so ridiculous,” Hinata whines. 

“You’re the one who touched it, dumbass.”

“Now, now Tobio-chan, Chibi-chan was just curious.”

Kagayama glares at Oikawa.

The entire conversation takes a ridiculous tone, when the gathered officers realize that all three have mushrooms growing from their clothes. 

“Thank you, Sawamura-san. If you can send their clothes to Sakusa and I as soon as possible so we can start analysis.”

“Good. There’s nothing else, I’ll turn it over to Ushijima.”

Ushijima nods. “Meet here at noon tomorrow. That is all.”

Kuroo tumbles into bed, happily shoving his head between pillows. He falls asleep blissfully unaware of the mushrooms starting to grow on the back of his shirt.


	2. Aphrodesiacs in Engineering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya pokes a mushroom and inhales yellow horny dust.

The loud alarm on Yamaguchi’s phone shocks him out of an uneasy sleep. After the summons from Daichi and Ushijima a few hours before, sleep had been irritatingly elusive. He looks at the caller id and answers, holdin the speaker at arm's length. “Nishinoya, what is it?”

“Mushrooms!”

There’s that word again.

“What about mushrooms?”

“They’re in the engine bay!”

“Wha-”

Yamaguchi startles out of his blankets, falling off his bed and onto the floor.

“Owww. I’ll be there. Call in Terushima and Saeko-san.”

Nishinoya hangs upside down from a railing towards the top end of the warp engine, stowing his phone in his overall pockets. He examines the mushroom that grows half an inch from his nose. He grits his teeth, trying to resist the temptation to poke the colorful fungus.

Three seconds later his willpower fails. Noya drives the tip of the wrench into the head of the mushroom. The head splits, sending a puff of yellow smoke into the mechanics face.

Yamaguchi walks in just in time to catch Noya, who slips from the railing. “Noya, what-”

Noya blinks, his face flushed, from what, Yamaguchi isn’t quite sure. The smaller mechanic takes hold of Yamaguchi’s collar and plants a fever-heated kiss on his lips. 

Yamaguchi pulls away, shoving Noya away. “Nishinoya! What’s gotten into you?”

With Noya at arms length, Yams takes a good look at him. Lust clouds Nishinoya’s eyes. The pale powder that dusts his face is overshadowed by the crimson of his face.

“Why’d you push me away?”

This really is odd. Noya would never touch anyone but Asahi, unless… “Do you know who I am?”

“Asahi.” 

Yamaguchi sends the warp engine and its clusters of mushrooms a sharp look of suspicion. “I’m not Asahi, Noya.”

The door to engineering opens again, admitting Saeko and Terushima. “Boss what’s-”

“Saeko-san, go get Asahi. I don’t care what he’s doing. And alert sickbay. Terushima, check the top railings for signs of yellow dust. Make sure not to touch any of the mushrooms. I don’t want you kissing me too.”

Saeko stops halfway to the door, spinning around to glare at Noya and Yamaguchi. “Noya did what?”

“Asahi-”

“I’m not Asashi. Don’t glare at me, Saeko. Noya thinks I’m Asashi. So I really need the real Asahi to come and take him to sickbay.”

Saeko nods. “I’ll be back soon.”

Yamaguchi turns his focus back to Noya. Despite his small size, the mechanic boasts as much strength or more as some of the guys out of security. The longer the two struggle the more it becomes apparent that Yamaguchi is not going to win this contest of strength.

“Noya, pause a minute.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll let you go, if you promise not to kiss me.”

“Oh.”

Nishinoya’s face falls but he nods his agreement. 

Yamaguchi releases him. Noya lurches forward to hug him. After a second of deliberation, Yams accepts the gesture. 

Minutes tick by, Yamaguchi keeps a close eye on Noya, who seems to be content with this position. 

He sighs in relief when the bay doors hiss open and two pairs of footsteps approach him.

“Yamaguchi what is the meaning--”

“Please come get him, Asahi-san.”

Noya pulls back, glancing between Yamaguchi and Asashi. “Eh? Two Asahis?”

Yams points at himself and then at Asahi. “I’m Yamaguchi. That’s Asahi. You can kiss him as much as you want.”

“Yamaguchi!” Asahi exclaims, turning a bright scarlet.

Noya pulls away from Yamaguchi and launches himself at his boyfriend, burying his head in Asahi’s neck. The blushing man nearly chokes when Noya starts peppering his neck with kisses and love bites.

“Ah, Asahi-san, I think Nishinoya needs to go to sickbay. Though…”

Yamaguchi trails off, but Asahi catches the engineer's meaning. “Thank you, Yamaguchi. We owe you one.”

All of the air in Yamaguchi’s lungs rushes out in one massive sigh, when Asahi carries a giggling Noya out of the room. He looks up at Terushima and the mushroom infested engine.

“Find anything yet, Terushima?”

“Hold on. Yup. One popped mushroom, covered in yellow powder.”

“Bring it down here. I’ll need to send it to Kuroo-san.”

A few hours later, just before the noon meeting, Kuroo leans against one of the walls in meeting room A. Like a number of others, he and Tsukki got caught in bursts of mushroom dust, it’s heated effects leaving them both drained in all the best ways. 

He chuckles to himself. According to Yachi-sensei the ones who were worst off were Kagayama and Asahi. Hinata and Noya are rumored to be two of the most voracious in bed and as Kuroo himself had realized, the mushroom dust has an amplifying effect on stamina and arousal.

“Kuroo-san!”

Yamaguchi hurries over Kuroo, holding out a dust filled bag. 

“You too?”

“No. Noya poked a mushroom in the engine bay, though I was the first target of his affections.”

Kuroo cocks an eyebrow. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Quiet down.” 

All eyes turn to Daichi. “Ushijima and I have been updated on this morning’s incidents. Sakusa, Kuroo, have you started analysis?”

Kuroo steps away from the wall. “We have, but we’ll need to talk to those affected after they wake up. We will need volunteers to test any antidotes we can come up with.”

“Understood. We’ll get you volunteers. Do you need anything else?”

“I would also request that any new developments be reported to section chiefs, who can report to us. That is all.”

“Noted. Sakusa?”

Sakusa adjusts his surgical mask. “Kuroo-san is correct. We will keep you notified of our progress. I want to add, don’t touch the fungus. This dust can leave victims and their partners out of order for hours after ingestion.”

The gathered section chief murmur their understanding.

“Moving on. Ushijima, if you will.”

The meeting continues. Kuroo merely goes back to the wall and takes a long overdue nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading. Kudos and comments are always appreciated, of course. I'll be updating this every one or two weeks. I have another au and a non-fan fiction related project so I'm not writing MM chapters as fast. But they will be out


	3. The Rampage of Hachi and the Butcher Knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirabu plays with robots and Oikawa finds his ankles in grave danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my favorite chapter so far to write . Oikawa is just fun to write.

Shirabu sprawls out on the floor of the workshop, throwing random nuts and bolts at Ichi. The robot, however small, is the communication tower for a ship's worth of cleaning robots. 

“Stupid, noncommunicative, pain-in-the-butt robot,” the tech chief mutters, scooching over to add lines of code to the program displayed on his tablet. 

The robot whirs in response, blinking red and blue.

“Gee thanks. That tells me so much.”

\------

A few floors below, Oikawa is having the worst day of his life, barring the incident with Kuroo’s Cat and Owl Shapeshifting Spray of course. Granted, a crazed robot armed with a butcher knife might actually be more terrifying than an Iwa-chan with bear ears.

Oikawa scrambles around a corner and crouches down, taking a moment to catch his breath. He resists the urge to see if Hachi the knife wielding robot has lost his trail. The question answers itself a moment later when Hachi barrels around the corner leveling the butcher knife at the man’s face.

“Eeee!”

Oikawa shrieks and leaps to his feet, nearly tripping over a three foot tall mushroom in the process. The mask that has been required since the yellow dust fiasco a few days ago slips off his face. Oikawa thanks his lucky stars that mushrooms in their second stage of life don’t give off the lust inducing powder. Between the shapeshifting spray and bringing home this blasted fungus, Ushijima and Semi don’t need much of a reason to sentence him to cleaning duty for the next year. 

Hachi’s butcher knife slices through Oikawa’s sock, nearly severing some important parts of his leg in the process. Oikawa drags the mask back up, heart racing, before pushing himself to somehow run faster than he already was. At this point, Tooru has given up avoiding mushrooms, stage one and two alike. Out of all possible outcomes, he’d much rather get it on with Iwa-chan and die at his boyfriend's hands than die a rather undignified death at the mercy of a damn knife wielding robot. 

Thud. Oikawa bounces against something solid. He tries to move around the blockage, only realizing that said blockage is human when a hand latches on to the back of his collar.

“Where are you going?”

“That way.” Oikawa points down the hallway. “Let me go. Hachi-chan’s gone crazy. I’m running for my life.”

Ushijima looks at Oikawa blankly. “Are you sick?”

“No. Hachi-chan’s chasing me with a knife!”

Tooru points back the way he came. “See!”

Hachi rolls down the hall, it’s light’s blinking an angry red. Oikawa can almost hear the thing’s complaints.

“Oh. I see now. Come with me.” 

\------

About 10 minutes later, Ushijima and Oikawa return to the 4th floor with Iwaizumi, prepared to turn the tables on the out of control robot. Tooru creeps around mushrooms, having been told in no uncertain terms that it’s his job to lure out Hachi and bring it to where Ushijima and Iwa-chan are setting up a trap.

“Hachi-chan. Come out Hachi-chan.”

_ This is so stupid _ , Oikawa thinks, as he peers over a large mushroom. 

It turns out, Hachi is exactly where Oikawa and the captain left him, stabbing at random mushrooms. 

“What did you take me for, stupid Hachi-chan, a mushroom?” Tooru pouts from a few feet away. “Hey Hachi-chan! Come and get me!”

Hachi spins around. It’s sensors lock onto the researcher. Oikawa squeeks again when the robot’s lights flare red and it charges at him.

“Why do you hate me, Hachi-chan? I’ve never done anything to you!”

Oikawa types a number into his phone. “You’d better have that trap ready, Iwa-chan!”

“Just hurry up, Shittykawa.”

“Don’t be like that. I didn’t do anything this time.”

Iwaizumi just sighs. “We’ll be ready when you get here.”

\---

Tooru’s face lights up when he sees Iwaizumi, Ushijima and the cage trap sitting in the middle of the hallway. 

“Iwa-chan!”

“Get over here, Trashykawa. I still have work to do.”

Oikawa crosses the last few feet and dives over the trap, sailing face first into a cluster of mushrooms.

“Owww.”

Oikawa sits back on his heels, rubbing the knot on his head. He smiles when he hears the cage clang and the robot power down.

The three make quick work of shoving Hachi into a bag, making sure to divest it of it’s butcher knife before closing up the sack.

Ushijima thrusts the bag, robot and all into Oikawa’s hands. “Take this to Shirabu.”

\------

Shirabu looks up from Ichi and his tablet to find Oikawa approaching from behind. 

“Your robot is malfunctioning, Kenjirou-chan. It tried to kill me!”

The tech chief rolls his eyes. “It can’t have been that bad. Which bot?”

Oikawa drops Hachi and it’s knife next to Ichi. “Hachi-chan. It tried to stab my face.”

“Fuck. So that’s what Ichi’s been talking about all this time. Leave him and get out. I can’t work with both bots while you’re standing over my shoulder.”

“Fine.”

Oikawa sticks his tongue out at Hachi and walks out. 

Shirabu glares at Hachi. “Look what you’ve done, Hachi. At this rate, I’m going to be here for years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same old same old goes with the comments and kudos. I love hearing from you guys.


	4. Dodgeball Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Bokuto are bored with no supervision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters of writing tonight! If you haven't already, go check out the hoops and nets au. But I'll leave it at that. Enjoy!

Hinata is bored, quite possibly the most bored he’s been since joining the crew the Land and Sky. And to be fair, this situation is pretty much all his fault. Oikawa-san and Kageyama both told him not to get so close to the giant mushroom and  _ not _ to touch them. Now that both ships are quarantined… If he’s honest, the boredom is probably karma for not listening to Kageyama and Oikawa.

Hinata sighs and slips out of his bunk. On the other side of the room Kagayama snores softly. According to Hianta’s last count, the dark haired man has slept for 17 out of the last 24 hours, the other 7 being spent either eating or working out.

Hinata sticks his tongue out at Kageyama and leaves for the cafeteria. 

\------

On the other side of the Land and Sky, Akaashi is at his wits end. 

“Akaaashi, what are you doing?”

“Bokuto-san, please stop blocking the light.”

“But I’m bored,” Bokuto whines, but moves his head anyway. “Daichi won’t let me play with explosives.”

Akaashi sighs, pushing himself out from under Hinata and Kageyama’s small ship. “The safe rooms are filled with mushrooms. Of course you’re banned from explosives. If you’re bored go to the cafeteria. Just don’t eat too much.”

“Fiiine.”

The door to the hanger clicks shut. Akaashi dismisses the feeling of dread growing in his stomach and slides back under the spacecraft. 

\------

“Bokuto-san!” The moment Bokuto steps into the cafeteria, an orange haired blur runs up to him. “Are you free, Bokuto-san? Some of us are going to find a place to toss a ball around. We just need a few more players. Right now we have Tanaka-san, Lev, Nishinoya-san, and I. Noya-san is asking Terushima from engineering and another pilot, Atsumu-senpai. I asked Hoshiumi from the Fortress too. He won’t say no to a challenge.”

“Awesome! I’ll play.”

\------

An hour later, 8 men in surgical masks-- a mandate from the captains and sick bay to mitigate the effects of the aphrodisiac dust-- gather in the safe zone typically used by the weapon’s and demolitions department. 

Hinata looks at Bokuto in askance. “Are you sure we’re allowed to use this space?”

“My department has been banned from testing here, so it should be fine. I made sure to disarm everything before we closed up.”

Tanaka steps forward holding up one of the numerous dodgeballs strewn across the room. “The rules of Mushroom Dodgeball are as follows. Get hit, you’re out. Catch the ball the person throwing is out. Friendly fire is not friendly so make sure of your target before you throw. Players who are out sit on the floor where they got hit.Team members who are out can be tagged in. Hiding behind mushrooms is fine. Keep hits below the shoulders. Please use the honor system. The game is over when all 4 members are out. Atsumu and I are captains. Hinata you’re with me.”

Atsumu grins. “Hoshiumi.”

Of course. Pairing up Hoshiumi and Hinata might very well be a disaster in the making.

“Terushima.”

“Bokuto.”

Tanaka grimaces when Bokuto moves over to Atsumu’s side of the line. “Yuu.”

“That leaves me with Lev. Game starts at the top of the hour?”

Tanaka glances at the clock and nods, motioning for his team to follow him.

“This isn’t fair, Tanaka-san.”

“What isn’t?”

Hinata pouts, pointing at Lev, whose silver air is just visible over the mushrooms. “Look at how tall they are. Except for Hoshiumi, there’s not a single one-”

Noya slams a hand into Hinata's back. “All the more reason to beat them.”

Each team lines up against their respective walls, training their eyes on the clock above the door.

Three. Two. One. At the change of the hour Noya leaps after the nearest ball. With the dodge ball in hand, the short engineer darts behind one of the mushrooms that form a pseudo-corridor leading to the center of the safe room. 

Lev’s lumbering and Bokuto’s hooting can be heard across the room.

_ Are they even trying to be subtle _ ? Noya mouths at Terushima, who has taken his place across from the other engineer. 

_ Lev? Subtle? _

Noya snorts and nods. He and Terushima creep forward, silent grins plastered all over their faces. 

Lev has no warning before two high speed dodge balls slam into his chest. Terushima and Noya scamper off in opposite directions. 

Seconds after pelting Lev, Nishinoya finds himself the target of Bokuto’s own hurled dodge ball.

“Vengeance!” The tuft haired explosives expert declares, running off. 

Closer to ‘Tsumu’s side of the room, Hinata and Atsumu find themselves in a bit of a bind. More accurately, he and Atsumu have spent the last several minutes chasing each other around a 15 foot circle, neither of them able to get a proper hit in. 

Hinata smirks and launches his ball, this time at the side of one of a mushroom, hoping it ricochets off and into the captain of the other team. 

It ricochets, as planned. The stage 3 mushrooms have been proven to have a little bounce when hit. What neither man expects, however, is the jet of colored vines that spurt into the air when Hinata’s dodgeball slams into one of the fungus's brightly colored spots. 

Both Hinata and Atsumu find themselves covered in silly string like vines. Atsumu beckons to his fire-haired junior. “Truce,” he whispers.

The two meet behind a mushroom. ‘Tsumu points the the vines covering them. “You thinking, what I’m thinking, Shouyou-kun?”

“Dodgeball is boring?”

“Exactly. Why don’t we spice things up a little. Here’s what we’re gonna do…”

After their impromptu tactics session, Hinata and Atsumu split up. Soon Tanaka finds himself nearly buried in a pile of mushroom vines. “Hinata! You get back here! I thought we were teammates!”

“Teams, what teams?” Hinata laughs as he flees.

Across the room, Bokuto can be heard shouting “Free for all!”

The chaos continues for more than an hour until Bokuto and Hinata both miss aim. Their balls slam into each other, before hitting the top of a mushroom and going every which way. The color in Bokuto’s face drains as he follows the trajectory of his weapon. “Duck!”

His dodgeball bumps into one of the explosives sitting on high shelves-- Bokuto swore up and down that they weren’t live--, rocking the room with a soundwave that completely destroys all nearby mushrooms and has the rest shooting off stream after stream of color. All 8 men are thrown across the room.

“You guys alright?” Noya asks, pulling himself to his feet. 

The only responses he receives are groans and unintelligible mutters.  _ At least, we’re all alive _ , he thinks. 

One by one, everyone else shakes themselves free of their disorientation. Hinata scowls at Bokuto. “I thought you said that nothing was live.”

“I swear, they weren’t. I haven’t touched them since you brought home the mushrooms.”

“Cut it out,” Tanaka snaps. 

The doors to the safe room slam open. Akaashi and Suga rush in followed closely by Kageyama and Kuroo.

Kageyama stalks up to Hinata, grabbing at the shorter man’s collar. “What were you doing you fucking dumbass? Of all rooms to pick...Who told you this room was safe?”

“Bokuto,” Hinata mutters. 

Kageyama lets out a low growl, unable to string together a sentence that isn’t 95% cursing.

Suga motions for Kageyama to back up. “Is anyone hurt?”

The eight dodgeball players look around. Outside of a few scratches, a bruise or two, and a deep cut across Hoshiumi’s nose, not a single one of them is injured.

Noya pokes at the vibrant vines covering him head to toe. “These things are actually pretty tough.”

The clock hits 2100 and Bokuto sits on the floor, letting Akaashi pick vines-- all 100% waterproof and nearly impossible to remove-- out of his hair. 

“You should know better, Bokuto-san. Like Daichi said, the idea of a dodgeball game wasn’t a bad one, which is why Hinata isn’t going to spend the next year banned from flying.”

“I’m sorry, Akaashi. I thought I had disarmed everything before locking up the room.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, Bokuto-san.”

Down the hall, another idiot faces the music. 

“Dumbass Hinata. First you touch the damn mushrooms. Now you decide that dodgeball in the explosives room is a good idea. Who let you graduate basic?”

“I passed all my classes.”

“Barely. Too bad common sense isn’t a requirement.”

“Don’t worry, Bakageyama, I learned my lesson.”

Kageyama huffs. It’s true, the shrimp won’t make the same mistake again. Which only leaves room for different kinds of trouble.

“Just don’t leave me without a copilot.”

“Hehe. I knew you liked me.”

That particular comment has the two rolling around on the bed poking, ticking, and throwing all sorts of insults until somehow Kageyama falls asleep, pinning Hinata to the bed.

_ This is karma, _ Hinata laments,  _ This is definitely karma. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lessn learned, don't let Bokuto and Hinata get bored. It's dangerous. The next chapter is the last I'll be posting for a while, I think. I've run into a serious block. Of course if I can write one, I will. I love seeing the comments and kudos. Next chapter will be up in a week. See ya!


	5. Drinking Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo gets bored. Daichi approves a party. Things go wonderfuly wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like smut or gay sex, please don't read. This is like, half, fairly graphic smut.

Several days after the incident in the demolition room, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa sit around a bunsen burner, roasting weenies over a bright blue flame. 

Oikawa turns his poker over, staring at it like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. 

“So what do you wanna do?”

Bokuto and Oikawa took over at Kuroo, who leans back on one hand, just letting his hot dog hang over the burner.

“I dunno. What do you want to do?”

Bokuto pokes Kuroo. “Bro, it’s not supposed to be black.”

Kuroo jumps back, waving his sausage around trying to put out a sudden rush of flames, nearly setting his bangs on fire in the process.

“Next time keep an eye on the fire, Tetsu-kun.”

Kuroo sits back down, glaring at the bunsen burner like it wasn’t his negligence that blackened his weiner. “I don’t know. Maybe we should throw a party.”

  
  


Two days, six pages of permission forms, and 36 hours of brewing later, the crew of the CSS Land and Sky plus a few guests from the Fortress gather in the recently de-mushroomed common room. 

Strand after strand of holiday lights hang from the ceiling, courtesy of Kageyama and Hinata, bathing the dim room in a rainbow of colors. With the lights, the bar provided by Oikawa and Tendou, and the music track compiled by Kenma and Tsukki, the common room looks no different than any port club.

Daichi comes up beside Kuroo, a half full red cup in hand. “This was a good idea.”

Kuroo nods his head. “I have one every now and then, captain.”

“How is the analysis coming?”

“As well as it is. I know the science section was happy to focus on something besides those damn mushrooms. If you want to find Sugawara, we’re about to start some drinking games.”

Daichi takes a long drink. “We might as well. Which table?”

Kuroo points to where Bokuto, Tooru, and several others have gathered.

A few moments later, a total of five couples make a circle that looks a little drunk itself. When all are settled, Bokuto pulls out a white board and marker. “While you were talking to Sawamura, we decided to play Never Have I Ever: Couples Edition.”

“Naughty or clean, Tetsu-kun?”

Kuroo takes the board, giving Oikawa a look. “Naughty of course. We’re aren’t cadets, anymore. Winner of this game gets to pick the next. I’ll start. Never have I ever…” His eyes scan the circle until they land on Bokuto. “Never have I ever given a blow job during a training exercise..”

“Bro, you’re evil,” Bokuto whines.

To his surprise, not only does Bokuto drink, Sugawara and, of all the unlikely people, Asahi drinks as well.

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “I’m impressed, Azumane-kun. You don’t strike me as that type.”

Asahi chuckles, hiding behind a hand. “Not usually, no.”

Oikawa sits forward from his place in front of Iwaizumi. “Never have I ever…”

The game continues until Daichi raises a hand. “Enough, otherwise we won’t be able to play a second game.”

Iwaizumi nods. “Very well. The winner of this game is Tsukki and Kuroo.”

Kuroo wraps himself around his lover. “Wanna play Captains?”

Identical grins stretch across the pair’s faces. “Sounds fun, Kuroo-san.”

Bokuto passes Kuroo a handful of popsicle sticks. “Just so we’re clear, no grudges will be held for anything that happens?”

The other couples nod their assent while Kuroo labels the sticks and places them in a red cup.

“Who is the captain?”

The 10 of them pull their sticks. 

“Hey, hey hey!”

Bokuto holds out a stick with the captain's badge. Next to him, Daichi’s face drains of color. 

“Person one strip for person two.”

Suga blushes as he climbs to his feet and moves to stand in front of Asahi. “Excuse me, Nishinoya.”

Noya obliges, taking a seat next to his boyfriend. He trains his eyes on Asahi’s scarlet face. “Go on Suga-san. I wonder how red you can make Asahi’s face.”

“Yuu!” Asahi exclaims.

Noya merely laughs.

“Eyes here, Asahi.”

Suga’s voice draws Asahi’s attention to where his fingers skim along the lower hem of his t-shirt.

“Suga,” Asahi chokes. 

The ash-haired man grabs the hem of his shirt, peeling it up and over his head. 

Oikawa whistles at muscles under Suga’s milky skin. “Not bad.”

Kuroo smacks the man. “Be nice.”

“I’m just saying.”

Suga tosses his shirt into Daichi’s lap. “Hold this for me.”

At this point, Asahi is so red he’s almost purple while Noya just grins. 

“Nice Suga-san.”

The 1st officer grins at the compliments, flipping the hook on his pants and letting them slip down around his ankles. His boxers find their way to the floor a few seconds later, followed by his shoes and socks.

“Acceptable, Bokuto-kun?”

Bokuto bobs his head up and down, rendered beet red and mute. 

“I’m glad.”

Suga goes back to sit in front of Daichi. 

“Why don’t you ever do that for me,”

Dachi’s whispered comment elicits cat calls and whoops from around the circle. 

The ten players dump their sticks into the cup. “Who is the captain?”

Daichi smirks when he sees the captain emblem on his stick. “Number 9 strip to your underwear and straddle number 4.”

“I guess I’m up. Who’s number four?”

Bokuto raises his hand while Oikawa gets to his feet.

The researcher swaggers over leaving a trail of clothing in his wake. “Pardon me, Akaashi-kun. Captain’s orders.”

Oikawa drops to his knees, climbing onto the owl’s lap. “Comfortable, Kou-chan?”

Bokuto grits his teeth, feeling Tooru press his hips down. “Oikawa.”

“Fine, fine. Satisfied, Sawamura?”

“More than.”

The next round begins with the captain stick ending up in Akaashi’s hands and refills for everyone. By now the party has drained the regular booze and started on the Science section’s special brew. (Yaku spent 3 weeks researching a chemical balance that only affects the desired parts of the mind.) 

Kuroo takes a drink of the brew, looking around the room. Across the room several people have already reached their limit and fallen asleep, another genius idea from the short-statured scientist.

“Kuroo-san. I think you want to watch this.”

The chief scientist whips his eyes back to the circle. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing yet,” Akaashi replies. “I’m captain. I’m assuming everyone is up for anything?”

Everyone else nods, too far gone to be particularly possessive.

“Number 8 suck off Number 7.”

Oikawa squeaks. “How are we supposed to work this? I’m number 7!”

“Just turn around,” Akaashi deadpans.

Daichi shuffles over to Oikawa, who turns around but remains straddling Bokuto.

“You sure, Sawamura?” Oikawa’s breath catches when he meets Iwaizumi’s eyes.

Daichi reaches out and rubs one big palm over Oikawa’s dick.

“I guess so.”

Bokuto pulls Oikawa back into his chest. Daichi hooks his fingers into Tooru’s boxers, pulling them off and tossing them to Iwaizumi, who gives him a subtle motion of permission.

Oikawa’s pokes out from a neat bed of curls, half hard from brushing up against Bokuto’s. 

“Sawamura, don’t stare.”

Daichi wraps his hand around Oikawa’s cock, drawing it up and down, coaxing it to full hardness. 

Around them, the others succumb to the mood. Kuroo dips his hand into Tsukki’s pants, mimicking Daichi’s movements. Suga and Akaashi twine around each other, tongues and lips moving against each other. Iwaizumi takes a look at Daichi, Tooru, and Bokuto and joins them, spooning Daichi from the back. 

“Can I,” he whispers in Daichi’s ear. 

“Yeah.”

Iwaizumi makes quick work of removing their clothing, nibbling a trail down the captain’s back. Daichi groans when Iwaizumi’s teeth catch on a patch of skin on the back of his hips. “Focus on Tooru, Captain.”

Daichi nods, lowering his head to lick the head of Oikawa’s cock. The taller man groans when Daichi wraps his lips around the head, taking it in a little at a time. 

A few feet away, Kuroo and Tsukki are in their own little world, grinding and running their bare members against each other.

Tsukki pushes Kuroo back, pinning him against the floor.

“Kei.”

“Just let me.” Tsukki murmurs as he leaves a trail of purple spots down Kuroo’s neck and chest.

The blonde twirls a tongue around Kuroo’s nipple, pulling at it with his lips. He replaces his lips with fingers, using the former to lick deft circles down his partner’s torso. 

Tsukki pulls away for a moment, just long enough to hang Kuroo’s long legs over his shoulders. 

“Kei.”

“Hmm?”

“Need… more.”

“Ask and you shall receive.”

Tsukki dives back in, spreading Kuroo’s asscheeks. His breath brushes over Kuroo’s asshole, sending shivers up and down the man’s spine.

“Kei, no teasing.”

Tsukki hums, tracing a circle around the raven-haired man’s hole. “Like that?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Tsukki continues eating Kuroo out, stroking his own length in slow, relaxed movements, while on the far side of the nonexistent circle, Noya and Asahi have joined Suga and Akaashi.

“Suga-san.”

Suga breaks apart from Akaashi. “Yes, Noya?”

“You stripping for Asahi was hot as fuck. Let me watch you screw him?”

“Is he ok with that?”

Asahi nods from behind Noya. “It was kinda hot.”

“Akaashi?”

Noya pushes Suga aside. “I’ll take care of Akaashi-san if he wants.”

Akaashi shrugs. “I’m not opposed.”

They shuffle around until all four are situated comfortably. 

Akaashi wastes no time working his mouth and tongue over Noya’s, who is happily watching Suga and Asahi make out. “Suga-san, the lube packets and condoms are in the back pocket of my pants.

Iwaizumi’s ears perk up at the mention. “Care to share with us?”

Suga tosses Iwaizumi a few packets of lube before returning to Asahi.

Iwaizumi pulls Daichi up. “Tooru, take care of Bokuto-san. You’re mine for tonight captain. 

Iwaizumi parts Daichi’s cheeks and presses a finger into his hole. “Have you bottomed before?”

“A few times.”

Hajime nods, working his finger in and out, letting his other hand trail over Daichi’s chest. Soon both Daichi and Asahi who is receiving similar treatment are putty in their partner’s hands.

Oikawa bounces on Bokuto’s cock, watching his boyfriend fingerfuck the land and Sky’s captain. “That’s kinda hot, Iwa-chan. Do you like being fingerfucked by my boyfriend, captain.”

Daichi nods, letting Iwaizumi add a second and soon a third finger. “Iwa-Hajime, more.”

“How do you ask?”

“More, please, Hajime.”

“Better.”

“This really is ho-”

Oikawa’s sentence is cut off. Bokuto flips Tooru onto his hands and knees, thrusting in hard and fast from behind. “Am I not doing good?”

Oikawa grunts. “You’re doing good. Feels good.”

Iwaizumi takes his eyes off of Tooru to focus on Daichi, leaving hickies up and down the back of Daichi’s neck. He lines his dick up with the captain’s hole and presses in. Daichi groans.

Daichi’s noise has Suga bucking against Asahi’s ass.

“Suga, harder. A little harder.”

Suga shifts them over so he can see Iwaizumi and Daichi, while he slams his hips against Asahi’s rear. “Fuck him hard, Iwaizumi. He can take it.”

Hajime takes Suga at his word, thrusting into Daichi until neither of them see anything but stars. 

A foot or so from Suga and Asahi, Akaashi gives one last pump into Noya before both fall over the edge, joining Kuroo and Tsukki in exhausted bliss.

Suga watches Asahi’s face, red and covered in sweat. He takes Asahi’s cock in hand, giving it a few rabid pumps.

“Suga. Suga. I’m-” 

Asahi spills all over his stomach, his entire body shaking with release. Suge takes another minute before he follows and collapses on Asahi’s broad chest. When his vision clears he watches his boyfriend.

At this point Daichi has no awareness of Suga’s watchful eye, only Hajime’s cock hitting his prostate with every thrust and Oikawa’s mouth around his dick.

Bokuto rams into Oikawa one last time, emptying himself into his condom. Rather than slumping over he maintains enough awareness to wrap his hand around Oikawa and finish the job.

Oikawa comes, bathing the floor in cum, sucking on Daichi’s dick. 

“Ha-Hajime. Can I-?” 

Iwaizumi holds Daichi up to let Oikawa slide to the floor, the researcher and demolitions expert collapsing like rag dolls. 

“Go ahead, Captain.”

Dark dots dance across his white field of vision. The spasming of his body, drags Iwaizumi along with him. When their vision clears, they’ve joined Oikawa and Bokuto in the pile.

Once his breathing calms and Iwaizumi has pulled out, Daichi sits up to speak. “We need to clean this up. Did anyone see us?”

“Probably everyone,” Kuroo rasps from his place under Tsukki’s relaxed body. “I don’t think they cared, though.”

“They won’t.” Suga points to a couple on the other side of the room, similarly naked and relaxed. 

“Huh? Yaku’s brew shouldn’t have an aphrodisiac effect. I’ve had it more times than I can count.”

Tsukki lifts his head. “Didn’t we make this batch across the hall from the stage one mushroom quarantine?”

Kuroo’s eyes glaze over, tracing an imaginary map with his mind. “Wait. Fuck. The mushroom room vents into the room we usually use for Yaku’s brew. Fuck. Blame this on me, Captain. I didn’t check the schematics of the science section before setting stuff up yesterday.”

“Don’t apologize. Just make note of it. Consider this a part of the research on the mushrooms. As long as Asahi, Oikawa, and Suga aren’t upset I’m not. That was intense.”

Oikawa lifts his head. “I don’t know about anyone else, I’d happily try this again, without a spiked brew.”

“We’ll talk later. Let’s mop up the cum at least, then we can pass out.”

An hour later, Daichi curls up behind Suga. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” he asks.

“I think I understand what Noya talks about when he brags about Asahi’s kissing, but I wouldn’t trade you for the world. You?”

“I wouldn’t mind having a foursome with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. Goodnight, Suga.”

“Good night.”

The two fall asleep, not unsatisfied with the results of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you guys had just as much fun reading it as I did writing it. This is my last post on this for a while. I'm super blocked. I'll post chapters as I write, but I'm not ditching this.


	6. A Cat, An Owl and a Blowtorch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto and Kuroo set Mushrooms one fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I would put up chapters when I had them and I have them. This is the second to last chapter.

Three weeks after the interesting events at the party, Kuroo sits in his lab, staring at the reports from the entire incident. No matter how many times he looks, nothing seems to add up. 

That morning he and Sakusa had a meeting, but neither of their departments have been able to figure out a way to stop the spread. At the least, the mushrooms clear themselves out after a time, making a massive mess in the process.

“Hey bro, what are you doing up?”

Bokuto pokes his head into the lab.

“I could ask the same of you. It's almost midnight."

“Akaashi told me to come help you.”

“There’s not much to do. I’ve tried everything I can think of to make this all make sense.”

Bokuto leans over Kuroo’s shoulder. “You can’t have tried  _ everything _ .” 

“Hmmm. We’ve tested every spore producing stage in every chemical I could think of. Pressure tests, you name it, we’ve done it.”

“Have you set it on fire?”

“Ummmm.” Kuroo flips through the stack of paper that is starting to approach Hianta’s height. “No. We haven’t. Let’s do it.”

Kuroo shoves his best friend into a white bodysuit. “The fungus spores don’t cling to skin or hair.

Bokuto makes a face, but accepts the clothing. When both are dressed, Kuroo passes the demolition’s officer a mask. “Wh-”

“I love you bro, but Tsukki and Akaashi would murder us if we started sucking face… or worse.”

Bokuto shivers. “Can we go set fire to some mushrooms, already?”

They enter the mushroom room, avoiding stage one mushrooms when they can. Bokuto pokes a brightly colored spot on a nearby stage 3 fungus.

“Bro, hands off.”

Kuroo pulls a blow torch out of a locked cabinet.

“Dude, you get a blow torch? I don’t have a blow torch!”

“Bo, quiet down and grab the fire extinguisher.”

Bokuto rushes to obey, setting up two steps away from Kuroo.

“Ready, Bro?”

“Ready!”

Kuroo turns on the torch, touching the tip to a cluster of mushrooms.

To his mild surprise, the fungus doesn’t erupt into a massive, Bouto-and-Kuroo-roasting fireball, instead igniting into a candle-like flame.

The chief of the science department pulls out a notepad jotting down notes. 

A few moments after ignition, the custer begins to emit a heavy purple smoke. A few heartbeats after  _ that _ , the smoke surrounds the pair, penetrating masks and filling lungs. 

The last thing Kuroo sees is a mass of stage one mushrooms bursting into clouds of yellow powder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a happy ending I promise! I didn't expect any type of angsty stuff at all, but then I never really expect anything with my work. Thank you so much for reading. I'll have the last chapter up later tonight.


	7. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mushroom Mayhem wasn't what everone thought it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Please enjoy

Kuroos eyes fly open, expecting to see the ceiling of the lab or sickbay. Instead, he finds his nose buried in the crook of his partner’s neck. The long slender arms of his partner tighten around his waist. 

“Kei?”

“Did you dream that too?”

“Dream what?” Kuroo asks, though he’s sure he knows the answer.

“Mushrooms.”

“Ah. Yeah, I did.”

Kuroo pulls Tsukki in a little closer, thinking about the purple smoke and the lingering suffocation. He knows full well that Daichi is going to want answers, but for now he’s really glad that Tsukki is the one with him now.

It’s only a month later when the combined section chiefs of the CSS Fortress and CSS Land and Sky report their findings to the Captains.

Oikawa, as head Researcher on the Fortress steps forward to present. “The cause of our dreams is actually really simple.”

Ushijima frowns at Oikawa. “Oh?”

“The magnetic field of the last planet pulses occasionally. When we docked outside it, we were caught in a pulse, which induced a hallucination-like shared dream in both crews. The real time was only a few hours, but the dream-time was so long, it had some interesting effects, at least according to Kiyoko-kun. We have documented our findings and sent them to records. This is a hard copy for the bridge officers.”

The research officer passes two flash drives to the captains.

Daichi nods. “Good work. Dismissed. Kuroo, Bokuto, stay back.”

The room empties except for the two men and their captain.

“Yes, sir?”

“How are you two doing. I heard about what the ends of your dreams were like.”

Bokuto shrugs. “I can’t be bad. I have an Akaashi.”

Kuroo huffs a laugh. “It was just a dream, Sawamura. Though... I saw you blush when Oikawa mentioned interesting effects. Did you-”

“You have no room to talk, Kuroo. Dismissed.”

Kuroo saunters out of the room, grinning like a hyena. For all it’s effects, good and bad, their mushroom mayhem really was just one, wild dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was a wild ride. So much crack and then boom! emotions. It was fun though. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. My tumblr is brilan-mosyn for anyone interested in chatting with me.
> 
> Assuming I can stick to it, the next chapter should be out in a week or so.


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